saying goodbye

Last weekend I was out at my parents place and I decided to help with my Mum's effort to clean up by sorting through some of the stuff that she is still keeping for me. I found some great treasures (a couple of watches), a lot of that stuff you keep for no reason (boxes from jewellery), and things that I thought it was time to let go of.

In particular I threw out my horse ribbons and most of my horse books (I only kept one).
After being involved with horses through most of my teen years I became un-involved when my parents and I moved to the country. It turns out that it is harder to find horse agistment in the country than it is to find it in the city. I moved my horse from a paddock that had established yards, dressage arena, jumps and trail rides to an empty paddock with nothing in it. I also went from a paddock where other people would ride and you could make friends to not knowing anyone. Then when I decided to go to Uni and I was working a lot I realised that rather than leave my lovely horse (who was still quite young) sitting in a paddock doing nothing I should sell him to someone who would use him.

My horse, Doc Holliday, is now in the Snowy Mountains doing regular horse treks and apparently he is well taken care of. Selling my horse is one thing that I really regret. But I have to be honest and say that I didn't ride him half as much as a should. I had a bad fall from him and I was admittedly a bit nervous. He is better off somewhere where people ride him regularly.

So when sorting through all of the stuff Mum has kept for me I came across a pile of horse ribbons that I had won when I was young. There was only one blue ribbon, and that belonged to Doc not me. One of my friends took him in an event and won on him - something I never could do. So the ribbons have gone. The saddles have gone (except for one that my Dad has kept for himself, just in case). The grooming kit has gone and the horse books have gone as well. I have let go of that part of my life, but I yearn for the day when I will have the time and money to ride again.